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Welcome or welcome back. If you tuned in to part one, I hope I conveyed the importance of following your intuition to your heart's desires. And how society, life, our demands can create the kind of person who is on autopilot and doesn't have time or even the wherewithal to know how to begin to find their way back to themselves.
If I conveyed that message as intended and you are back here, I presume you are looking for some suggested solutions. If this is your first time here and you didn't read part one, then you got just got the short and sweet summation of a 6-minute read. (You're still welcome to go back and read it, though. :))
So on to the suggested solutions. I am hesitant to call them solutions as I am not a licensed spiritual professional (if there is such a thing). If you are looking for a professional, you are definitely in the wrong place. However, if you are looking for the opinion of someone who was in a very dark place and who managed to unbury herself, then ding ding ding... I got you! I write this because I couldn't find solid, tangible advice when I googled. I also trust the intended audience will see this.
Here are six things to consider before the practical advice:
You're the only one that can tell you how to find your way to heart's most genuine desires. You can ask all of the people in the world, but no one really knows but you. That may seem obvious, but many of us are on autopilot due to life, as I tried to convey in part one. Sometimes, you don't know how to find your way there even when you try. If someone can point you there, it's still up to you to choose and take the actions to get you there. You might as well take the shortcut, connect with yourself, and start asking the advice you need from the source who has them, you.
Meditation is a practice, and it really is just that. There isn't a destination per se; it's more a journey with many roads, some that you will repeatedly travel. No two trips are the same. Trust yourself and trust your intuition but no matter what, keep going. Meditation isn't something you do a few times, and it completes the job. It truly is a lifetime practice. Don't worry though, once you do it right and find that real peace and serenity, you won't compromise your meditation time for much.
Make it a routine as much as possible. I know routine isn't always possible for some, but remember, the mind operates much better under repeated practice. After a year of struggling to settle my mind, I spoke to a stranger who said, make it a routine. If your mind knows that, when you do these four or five things, then you meditate, it will learn to go to that meditative state much faster once you complete those 4 or 5 steps. Simple advice, but it works. I get up, pee, put on my robe, turn on my salt lamp, prop my pillows, and then meditate—five easy steps.
Give yourself time. It was a little over a year before I recognized I quieted my mind for the first time. I still remember coming to that realization vividly; that's why I remember. I was uber excited because it had taken so long. Hopefully, it doesn't take you anywhere near as much time. I had a lot of trauma from childhood and my own personal decisions to overcome. If you can get there in less than a year, then my hat's off to you. If it takes you longer, don't be hard on yourself. No two journeys are the same. Give yourself time.
Don't worry about "quieting your mind." Learn your own energy first. It's hard to know what stillness is if you have no baseline. So spend some time getting to know your energy first. This is one of the reasons why I believe it's so important to meditate first thing in the morning if possible, as this allows you to get ahold of your own energy before anything has the time to impact it first. This is definitely THE most crucial step in the process and should've been number one. However, it wouldn't have made sense in that order. The other points needed to come first. More on why it's so important to know your own energy in a minute.
Sometimes you can get aligned, and sometimes you can't. Don't get frustrated with yourself when you can't. I can get into a meditate state just about anywhere at any time now. However, there are definitely times, even to this day, that I still can't. Those times usually come post arguing with a teenager, rolls eyes. The point is that it happens, life happens, and you will not always be able to get in that state. Don't be hard on yourself. There are plenty of days that I just allow myself to feel what I'm feeling, take a shot (or two), go to bed or whatever, and try the next day again.
Ok, so those were the things to consider. Now comes the meat and potatoes, or in my case, Brussel sprouts and sweet potatoes (I don't eat meat, haha). In all seriousness, this is how I started and how I am still breaking down the subconscious beliefs that have held me back for so long. You might hear it called shadow work, healing the subconscious, or coming into alignment, among other things. At the end of the day, it's just integrating the dark side we hide from ourselves and the world into the light and becoming one whole individual authentically functioning in their true purpose.
Here is what has worked for me during and after meditation:
Remember that you are the observer of the one having the thoughts, not the one having the thoughts themselves. When you've gone your entire life living as if you are your thoughts, it can be a little challenging to separate the two, but it is true. Your soul perceives the you who has the thoughts. They are two separate entities, the one perceiving the "you" having the thoughts, your Spirit or soul, is the true you. Once you recognize that, you can begin to allow your Spirit to control what thoughts and beliefs you allow to impact you.
There are two approaches you can take during mediation, and both work. You can either ask questions or sit with your energy and allow Spirit to show you what you need. You can use both interchangeably or as you see fit. Sometimes you need answers to inquiries, and other times you may not know what's impacting you. This is why it's so important to know your own energy. Once you've gotten comfortable with where your true self vibrates consistently, you can more easily recognize when you have a feeling, thought, or belief that is not in alignment with that baseline and make adjustments as necessary.
One of the first breakthroughs I had during meditation was when I started speaking to my inner child. It took me a long time to start doing that because it always sounded kind of cooky and cliche, but talking to my inner child is one of the most impactful things I've done on this journey. Most of us have an inner child that needs healing. If that's you, I highly encourage you to start talking to them. Sit quietly and allow them to respond. They will tell you everything you need to know to find your way back to yourself. Trust them and give them what they've been begging for all along.
Look at everything objectively and think outside your "normal story" box. We all have the stories we tell ourselves when it comes to recalling memories and how they've impacted us but challenge yourself to think outside that box. I'll give you a personal example. I moved back and forth between mom, dad, grandparents a lot when I was a kid. That was back when kids were kept out of conversations, so I didn't have the complete picture. I internalized it as nobody wanting me or wanting to take care of me. It wasn't until, hmm, I don't know, 30 years or more of living with that belief and two years of consistent mediation that I had a breakthrough. While meditating, I recognized they were shuffling me back and forth because they all thought they could raise me better than the other, not that they didn't want me, and that's a very different perspective. That is a very simplified version, but I said that to say, be wary of the story you tell yourself about your own memories and the beliefs you still hold as a result of them.
Knowing your energy allows you to begin to know and trust your own inner voice. It also enables you to recognize when you've encountered a thought or belief that does not align with that energy. You can begin to ask yourself questions and accept when your Higher self shows you any erroneous views or opinions and where they originated, empowering you to take control of whether you allow those thoughts and beliefs to continue to impact you.
Knowing your energy is how you begin to recognize when things happen that impact your energy throughout the day. Arguing with someone impacts your baseline obviously, but being affected by energy after going to a crowded place is more subtle and challenging to recognize. When you don't understand energy, and more importantly, how to ascertain when you're not standing in your power, it can be challenging to recognize when things occur that take you out of that power. Knowing when your energy has been or will be impacted allows you more control over how you allow that impact to affect you, if at all.
Knowing your energy and what things impact it allows you to limit and control who or what can access or affect your energy throughout the day. Owning who and what can access and affect your energy is how you take your sovereignty and power back, period.
Be prepared. You will be compelled to take action. Spirit, your Higher Self, your subconscious, whatever you want to call it, will no longer allow you to stay with people comfortably or in places or situations that no longer serve you or your highest good. It could be a friendship, kinship, relationship, situationship, career, job - if it no longer jives with that baseline, you won't want it. You will be compelled to take action.
So I realized this got lengthy. However, spirituality is a subject that would take a millennium to tackle. Maybe that's why it takes our souls multiple lifetimes. Finding your way back to self and your true power can be grueling; however, it's worth it. I've outlined how I began to dig myself out of a very dark place onto a life full of peace, light, and empowerment. Coming from that to a place where I wake up wholly overjoyed with life, just for the sake of living, is a beautiful place to be. And, if the time spent on this lengthy blog can help you get there, it was worth it. I hope you enjoyed it.
Sharing the tiny bit of nothingness that I've learned in my time on this spiritual journey so far. Trusting the intended audience will find something useful in what I've shared.
Thanks for placing your eyeballs on my content!
The Rebellious Gem